Category Archives: Hall Director

#Saturday Inspiration: Recognizing Your Importance to Those Around You

It’s easy to fall into a mindset where you struggle with self-worth, whether it’s in the workplace or your personal life. As humans, we have a tendency to get into our normal routines, we go through our daily challenges, get frustrated with mundane tasks like sitting in traffic or running to the grocery store. Often I fail to recognize the impact that I’m making in the lives of others, whether I personally know them or not. My Anxiety sometimes causes me to feel like a burden to others, like I’m almost bothering the people who love me because I’m texting them about my day. I’m sure that I am not the only one who feels this way.

This year, I have also committed to completing “The 52 Lists Project” journal, by Moorea Seal, which offers a new prompt for a list every single week of the year with a follow-up reflection. This week’s prompt was simply the following: “List Your Favorite Quotes.”

After listing out a few, I finally remembered my favorite quote of all time:

“If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.” -Fred Rogers

If you know me, you know that I’m the biggest Mr. Rogers fangirl ever. I absolutely love the work he has done with education & children. I love the simplicity of his inspirational quotes because in the end, he is always reminding us to love one other and be good people. 

This quote is important to me personally because of my mental health struggle. By recognizing the small, relevant impacts we share with people every single day, we find value and worth in our everyday lives. This is especially relevant in my job as a Hall Director, when I often find myself confronting challenging situations and sharing challenging (and sometimes negative) conversations with students. I have to remind myself that by giving my students a space to share their concerns and have a voice, I am making a huge impact. Unfortunately, we live in a world where a lot of people find themselves silenced.

As an Empathizer (#1 Strengthsquest result), I have a tendency to connect with my students on a personal level and get emotionally invested in their stories at times. I think that honestly this is a positive, rather than a negative, because my students recognize that I am genuine in my expression of concern, I genuinely listen to them, and I genuinely care about their feelings. 

At the end of the day, we need to remember how valuable we are to those around us, even if we don’t always see it. I wanted to write this post to remind everyone that you are a valuable, loved human being who has so much to contribute to this world, even though you may not see it right now. I challenge you to smile at a random stranger, initiate a conversation with a coworker you may rarely talk to, or do some other random act of kindness. You may never know how great of an impact you have on that person’s life.

 

Providing Hope in Chaos: Discovering my Passion for Prevention Work as an #SAPro

“Having hope will give you courage” – Job 18:11

 

Over the past few weeks, I’ve decided to start reading Girl in the Woods, by Aspen Matis. Girl in the Woods is the nonfiction memoir of Matis’ journey along the Pacific Coast Trail as a way to heal as a rape survivor. Although the book is sometimes graphic and disturbing, I have found so much inspiration in Matis’ account and quite honestly, I think this is a book that every student affairs professional should read.

 

Matis’ story begins with her first night of freshmen year at a university in Colorado. Matis recounts a disturbing scene where she meets new friends, gets high, and then finds herself victimized and raped by one of the students who came to her room. She proceeds to describe her fight with the institution, which inevitably ended in her being removed from her residence hall while her rapist proceeded to go through classes as if nothing happened. As a student affairs professional and residence life staff member, I ask myself why this was allowed to happen. More importantly, I ask myself why this happens as a result of a lot of campus sexual assaults. Although many institutions are taking measures to meet the needs of survivors while appropriately penalizing persecutors, we still find ourselves in an era where sexual assault survivors are not receiving justice for the wrongs committed against them. We are also still struggling to overcome the normalization of rape culture on our college campuses. As student affairs professionals, it is our time to do something about this violent crime that plagues our campuses. It is also important to recognize that we can also help to train our students to potentially prevent some of these situations from happening with the right tools.

 
As a Residence Hall Director, I will tell you that Matis’ story has reaffirmed my choice to get involved with prevention work here on our campus. Last May I was offered the opportunity to be certified as a Green Dot bystander intervention instructor. Green Dot (a program created by Green Dot, et cetera, Inc.) is a program that teaches students how to intervene in a situation known as a “red dot,” or an instance where a potentially negative situation could occur. Think of a “red dot” as that moment when your gut is telling you that something is off; for example, an intoxicated student may be leaving a party with another student with seemingly no indications of what is happening. In Green Dot, we teach our students how to intervene in these situations with a simple gesture, such as a direct comment or calling campus security to assist. As an advocate for the Green Dot program, I strongly believe that we can utilize this simple-to-implement program to change our campus cultures and to make it clear that sexual assault will not be tolerated on our campuses. As student affairs professionals, we need to rally behind our students with programs like this so that they are informed, prepared, and able to support their fellow students.

 

I challenge you to consider what you can personally do to help support our campus communities. Does your institution have a prevention program in place? If not, what would it take to implement something like Green Dot? As we often say in the Green Dot program, you only have one choice: to do something or to do nothing. There is no in between. There is no neutral ground. There is only one way to move forward.

 

For more info on the Green Dot program, please visit https://www.livethegreendot.com/

Girl in the Woods, by Aspen Matis is also available through the following:  http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/girl-in-the-woods-aspen-matis/1117137870

 

Challenging Senioritis as an #SAPro

“You’re not meant to do what is easy. You’re meant to challenge yourself.”

~Justin Timberlake

Sometimes being a #SAPro is difficult when your staff hits a “wall.” When I talk about a “wall,” I’m talking about crippling senioritis, doing the bare minimum, and struggling to push themselves harder. When I chose a staff of primarily seniors (which was unintentional FYI), I knew that Senioritis would be a consistent challenge. Yes, I have a staff of strong, empowered, confident, creative young women who love what they do, but let’s be serious, we’ve all been at that point during our senior year of Undergrad when we wanted to live it up, do the minimum, and just make it to graduation. Because of this, I have been consistently working to challenge my staff in new ways while coming up with a range of new activities that we can conquer together.
Here are a few that I came up with:

  1. During 1:1’s last week, I challenged my staff to think of the following 2 prompts. Prompt A: what is one way that you can build community (in your section, staff, or building) that you do not normally do? Think of a simple task or gesture. Many of my RAs talked about placing post-it’s with positive messages on the bathroom mirrors or inviting a student to a meeting on-campus that she would not typically attend. Prompt B is a bit more challenging: think of one way that you can be a leader this week (staff, section, community). Think of something concrete. A few RAs mentioned taking initiative to plan a staff event or writing letters to each staff member and posting them during on-call rounds.
  1. During my first staff meeting this year, we had a conversation about the significance of staff collaboration regarding programs and bulletin boards. A few of the boards and programs last semester were becoming a bit lazy, so my leadership team of Senior RAs and I challenged the RAs to take their programs and boards a step further. Needless to say, their bulletin boards for February are gorgeous! I can’t wait to see what programs they come up with in the future.
  1. I asked my RAs what “real world skills” they hoped to gain before graduating. As a Hall Director, I feel like it is my role to help prepare my ladies for the real world in whatever way I can. My staff came up with a great list of things, including Taxes/Financial Planning and cooking. I’m looking forward to planning a few of these “workshops” together. I also think this would make great staff bonding time.

 

I now challenge you #SAPros to consider the same. Are your staff members struggling to reach their potential? Are they finding themselves in the “bare minimum” mindset? I would love to hear what many of you have done to help reengage and challenge your staff to grow (I also need some more ideas as the year goes on).

Learning from Our Mistakes in #StudentAffairs

“We need to accept that we won’t always make the right decisions; that we’ll screw up royally sometimes. Understanding that failure is not the opposite of success. It’s part of success.” Arianna Huffington

One of the most challenging parts of being human is accepting that we aren’t perfect. In a world that stresses the importance of self-confidence, it’s easy to find ourselves slipping into defensiveness, rather than simply accepting that we screw up at times. As human beings, it’s important for us to accept our failure in order to grow. Without accepting that we screw up we will never change for the better.

I recently understood the significance of accepting my mistakes when I was challenged with a work-related incident. Without going into details, I will admit that I made a mistake and was extremely frustrated and initially, defensive about the situation. After we determined that the situation was going to work out, my supervisor told me that we need to just accept the mistake for what it is, appreciate that it is fixable, apologize for the mistake, and then move on. I understand that if I wish to succeed, I need to take these words to heart and to learn from my errors. Self-reflection is also key and believe me, I’ve done quite a bit. I am so thankful that my situation turned out well, that everyone was satisfied with the outcome, and that I have the ability to learn from my mistake.

In conclusion, I would like to say that I am extremely grateful for what I’ve learned:

  1. It’s okay to make mistakes. We are all human.
  2. I have the ability to challenge myself in order to grow from the situation
  3. The situation worked out
  4. I have the opportunity and ability to apologize, accept the mistake for what it is, and move forward

Yes, we all need to be confident in our abilities and strengths. We need to be proud of who we are. However, we also need to accept that humility is the key to being a successful, happy, likeable human being. By accepting our imperfections, we become more relatable to those around us.

Finding Passion (and learning that it’s okay to change your mind)

“I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you are not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.”

– F. Scott Fitzgerald

Sometimes it takes a complete “post-college crisis” to understand what you are called to do in life; sometimes you have to quit something and close the door in order to move forward, to grow, and to understand your passion. I’m saying this because I did that 2 years ago with my student teaching experience. I quit something important for the first time in my life in order to do what I love and it was the best decision I have ever made.

I have always felt called to life as an educator from a young age as I played school with my dolls and idolized my own teachers in the classroom. I knew upon entering Saint Vincent College in 2009 that I wanted to pursue Secondary English Education so that I could share my love of literature with high school students. I went through my entire 4 years of college knowing that I was called to be an educator, yet somehow deep inside, something felt off when I went into the classroom to teach. I had a very successful, happy life, yet nothing felt quite right. It was during my student teaching experience in October of 2013 when I fully understood how much I hated being a high school English teacher. I despised “teaching to the test;” matching every single thing I spoke about to a state education standard. I hated that students did not find passion in the same literature that I had loved so deeply when I was their age. I did not like the environment, and I no longer found passion in the classroom.  And so in October, I quit student teaching because I wanted to find happiness. I knew that going through one more day of student teaching would not make me any happier, and so I quit to take on projects that I loved in Student Affairs in Higher Ed.

Throughout the entire student teaching experience, I was starting to realize how much I loved being an Assistant Hall Director (which was my other job during student teaching) and sharing those learning moments with students outside of the classroom. I knew I was called to be an educator, just not in the classroom. After quitting student teaching I began to seek more opportunities at Saint Vincent and gained experience making rubrics for the Office of Student Conduct and assisting the VP of Student Affairs with compiling our Annual Report for the year. My post-grad year at Saint Vincent was an extremely difficult, yet humbling experience for me and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I worked at a Barnes & Noble part-time while fulfilling my ARHD duties and completing side projects. During that time, I decided to start applying for full-time Hall Director positions, and in July of 2014, I ended up here at Saint Mary’s College in Notre Dame, IN as the Hall Director of Holy Cross Hall.

My time at Saint Mary’s has been a huge period of growth for me personally, professionally, and spiritually. I have grown so much in confidence through the incredible young women I work with here. I have learned to challenge myself to go outside of my comfort zone in order to grow. Ultimately, I have learned that I am in a position that I love and I am finally fulfilling my passion in life. Throughout my time here, I have grown to be the extraordinary, confident young woman I am called to be; I wouldn’t trade my life for any other.

I am thankful for the courage to quit something I failed to love, to accept that failure in order to grow, and to move forward into doing what I love every day. My job is challenging, but fulfilling; I am an educator who helps students to grow as individuals outside of the classroom through their real life experiences, new-found independence, and daily challenges. I’m so thankful for the opportunity to turn my life around in order to do what I love. As I reflect on this past year-and-a-half, I realize that my time here at SMC has truly been a gift;  I’ve learned to love and to accept myself for who I am in order to be a role model for the students I work with. I know that I’m in the right field, and that my next step (wherever that will be) will continue to help me to grow in confidence. I know that the future holds so many wonderful things for me (and I seriously can’t wait).

staff

The Importance of Being Young

“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.” 1 Timothy 4:12


Sometimes being 23 is challenging, especially when you start a new professional job. Being 23 becomes more challenging when you work as a supervisor for 18-21-year-olds. Although being young has been a consistent challenge, I must admit that overall, I’ve found that there are a lot of benefits to being close in age to my staff members. Not many SA professionals can admit to owning The Lizzie McGuire Movie or being a 90’s child. I’ve learned to embrace the fact that I’m the “baby” of our professional staff as well. When some of my fellow pro staff members talk about their college or high school experiences, they will often ask “how old were you, Angela?” and I have to admit that I was in the single digits age wise. My supervisor also brought in teen magazines from her childhood and I had to admit I was in the 3rd grade when half of them were issued (who knew that Justin Timberlake was so old…).

Despite the common humor of my young age, I was challenged last week when a resident tossed the fact that I was only one year older than her back in my face. The resident was upset about a sanction I provided for her Code of Conduct hearing (lots of big Student Affairs words), and to simplify a long story, she brought my age into the equation because I was a “college student not that long ago” and could surely understand why she wouldn’t want to complete the task I assigned (which I didn’t agree with FYI).

So there is both a positive and a negative to this situation: the positive being that I am relatable to all students because we are close in age. Yes, drawing that line between friendship and supervisor has consistently been a struggle (like it is for all SA professionals at one time or another), but students appreciate knowing that I can understand where they are coming from because I’m only a few years older (for the most part anyway). The negative point is that I felt disrespected because of my age to a point. If I were older, the student may have respected my decision a bit easier (maybe) and would have accepted, rather than fought me on it.

I guess I knew that my age would always play a factor since I made the active decision to pursue employment before my MA in Student Affairs. Although I had that one challenging situation, I must admit that overall my youth has been a blessing and I’m thankful for that ability to connect and relate to the students I work with every day. I realize that I still have so much more to learn and to take from the world, so I may as well make the most of it.

Other Perks of Being 23:

  1. I can get away with traveling for Spring Break in a little over a week (woo San Francisco).
  2. It’s not weird for me to use Snapchat/I know what Snapchat is.
  3. It’s socially acceptable for me to wear yoga pants all the time (ok maybe not, but I like to tell myself this).
  4. I still get to go Grad School shopping in a few years!
  5. It’s acceptable to read young adult fiction (a lot).