As a type A, fairly organized human being, I absolutely LOVE setting goals and making lists. There is something deeply satisfying about checking things off a list and feeling extremely accomplished.
What I found, however, is that sometimes it’s challenging and exhausting when you don’t make it through that goals list because you set too many unrealistic expectations for your day. Sometimes life just happens. We have too many meetings or we are entirely too exhausted to work out in the evening when we come home from a long day. Sometimes we need a Saturday of rest and rejuvenation instead of running errands.
Recently, I’ve been setting 3 reasonable expectations/goals for myself every day. One of my favorites is to “laugh a lot.” Others include “stay positive,” “make time to breathe,” and “to make time for yourself.” Yes, these seem very surface level and unspecific, but mentally those are the personal goals I need. Although I have a million other lists of work projects, monthly to-dos, weekly chores, etc. I find that my 3 simple, “happiness” goals truly make me feel like an accomplished person.
I challenge you to make time to set 3 simple goals for your happiness tomorrow. Make it a daily routine. Remember that life is entirely too short and that in order to make the most of it, we need to remember to make time to feel fulfilled, joyful, and at peace.
In the recent light of yet another suicide, there have been a lot of conversations around mental health (as there should be). Kate Spade’s death came as a shock to many of us because on the surface, she hid beneath a facade of happiness & sparkles & joy when in reality, she was mentally living in a dark world. Please know that it’s okay not to be okay. I know that everyone is saying it but the truth is, it’s okay to seek help. It’s okay to go through dark times. It’s okay to admit that you’re in this place. You are not alone. Many are in the same place as you, my friend. Many of us have also been there.
I personally have gone through very dark moments in my life where I too wondered if life was worth it. These were my absolute lowest times. The first was when I was in a very mentally abusive and manipulative relationship, and the other was when a close college friend of mine died very tragically. These two situations brought so much darkness to my life. I felt trapped and alone, even though there were tons of people who I could have gone to.
I got out of these times by seeking help from friends, relatives, and a counselor. You need to know that there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with going to a counselor. There is also NOTHING wrong with taking medication and for having a mental illness. So many of us live with mental illness every day. It is very real and when we don’t take care of it, it can easily destroy our world.
So if you’re reading this and you’re not ok I need you to ask for help. Seek out your support system. If you are feeling suicidal or are in need of help, call @800273TALK (8255) or text NAMI to 741-741. Look into the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) website & twitter pages for stories of people who are dealing with their mental illness. Stories of survivors.
If you’re reading this and you’re not ok, I want you to know that I want you here. This world is a better place with you in it. I need you to know that so many of us have been there. We’ve been in the darkness, but once you seek the help you need trust me, you will find the light again. You will learn to walk again with hope and a sense of purpose. You will realize that life is worth living.
It took me a very long time to recognize that I deserve the beautiful life that I have. Often times we find that our struggles define us and for some people, it’s nearly impossible to get past the bad times in our lives. I’ve been taking a lot of time to reflect on my journey. I’ve reflected on how far I’ve come as a person despite my past relationships, traumatic situations, and at times, having the cards stacked completely against me. No life is perfect. It may seem that some people have it all together but what we need to realize is that we all have a journey and all of our life journeys are sloppy at times. Here are just a few of the life lessons that I’ve learned from my beautiful, yet sloppy life.
I Deserve to Be Where I am Today (& so do You)
I worked a very long time to get where I am in my career. Although I’m only halfway through graduate school, I’ve had quite a journey so far in regard to employment and my career life path. Throughout my whole life, I thought I wanted to be a teacher. In the fall of 2013 I quickly realized that this wasn’t my life path (right when I was in the middle of my student teaching experience). I truly believe that I had a mental breakdown at that time. I knew that I wasn’t happy. I came back to my room and had panic attacks every single day. I knew in my heart that I wasn’t on the right path. And so I decided to quit student teaching to focus on my mental health. I worked at a Barnes & Noble for almost a year (which I loved, by the way) and focused on taking on side projects in student affairs (which is what I really love). I’ve had at least 10 random part-time jobs and work study positions over the years. I made it through undergraduate school despite the challenges of being a first-generation student. And now I’m here, working through grad school and doing work in Residence Life. I hope to continue to be successful after graduation.I deserve it.
No One Can Define You But Yourself
People are mean sometimes. Yes, I believe that people are mostly good but in reality, people tend to be mean when they are not happy in their own lives. I suffered through years of bullying as a child. I was called names because of my weight on a daily basis. Fast forward into high school and college. I was in an abusive relationship and other relationships with abusive tendencies. I learned to hate my body and everything about myself. I was never pretty enough or smart enough or thin enough or outgoing enough. It took me roughly 24 years to love myself and the life I’ve worked for. My time working at Saint Mary’s College was the turning point for my self-confidence when it came to my body image and my career. I took an intentional two year break from dating. I focused on “dating” myself and reflecting on the things that I love to do. I also reflected on and refined the skills that I am good at. I truly learned that I deserve to be where I am: happy and successful. I am the only one who can define my life. By learning to love my body and myself I took away that power from those who would try to hurt me with their words and actions.
Laugh so You Don’t Cry
Life is stressful. There will always be stressful days and things that go wrong. I learned that I need to laugh things off instead of constantly crying over them and letting them destroy me. It is so easy to let negativity consume our thoughts. When something goes wrong at work, I try to step away and laugh at the absurdity of the situation. When I think about something particularly sad, such as the death of a loved one, I try to reframe and think about a joyful memory with that person. Laughter is truly the best medicine. When we try to find the good in our unfortunate circumstances, we have the power to reclaim happiness instead of letting negative emotions to destroy us.
Happiness is Something that You Create
I know a staggering number of people who say that they would be happy if they had more money or a new car. I’ve learned that waiting for happiness to come to us is not how we should live our lives. Happiness is something that we personally define and create.Yes, having money or other things may ease some difficulty in our lives but that is not truly the answer to a happy life. We need to take steps to create our happiness. Go out for coffee on a Saturday. Make a phone call to the people you love. Do whatever you can to create happiness for yourself. Your life will be so much more fulfilling.
Capture Life in Moments, not Things
At the end of the day, you’re going to find the most joy from the moments that captivate you than from the newest electronics. Yes, buying new things is nice (and often necessary), but when you have the option between going on an adventure and buying something for yourself, I suggest that you go for the adventure. Life is all about the little quirky moments that make you happy, not about the new expensive things that you want to buy. For example, this year for our anniversary, my boyfriend and I decided to take a trip to Washington D.C. instead of buying gifts. We had an amazing time, laughed a lot, and had the opportunity to spend a super fun weekend together. We have no regrets about this decision and plan on trying to do it every year if we can!
It’s okay to have a Career that you Love without Allowing it to Take Over your Personal Life
In America, we have this tainted perception that in order to have a career that we are passionate about, we must give up a lot of other things, like a family, relationships, self-care, etc.It is important to know that you do NOT need to pick or choose which of these things you want. Life is all about balance. I am currently a full-time graduate student pursuing a career that I absolutely love and feel called to. I also spend every weekend I can with my significant other, his family, and my own family. I map out the workout classes that I want to attend every week. I also make sure that I go grocery shopping for healthy food so that I’m not eating like crap. If you plan out things accordingly, you can have it all. Yes, having a career while balancing a life is extremely stressful, but you need to know that it will all work out if you make the time to invest appropriately with all aspects of your life. Yes, I love my job, but my family and my significant other come first. I want to be successful in my career and to help others as well. It is okay to want both of these things.
Make Self-Care a Priority
I say this all the time, but one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned is to make self-care a priority. Self-care doesn’t have to be extravagant trips to the spa or vacations to Hawaii (although those sound amazing). Self-care is simply the daily, weekly, monthly or yearly things that you do in order to maintain your balance, to refocus on your happiness, and to take care of your body and mind. My self-care practices involve getting at least 7.5 hours of sleep every night, taking coffee breaks when my anxiety is high (I know this doesn’t make sense, but grabbing a cup of coffee really helps me to recenter myself despite the caffeine), talking to my loving partner every day about the good things and the bad, grocery shopping instead of doing takeout, and going to yoga and Zumba classes as much as possible (which is about 2-4 times per week when I can). Self-care is saying no to things that you cannot add to your “plate.” It’s about advocating for yourself in the workplace and knowing that it is okay to speak up about your feelings. Taking care of myself is not selfish. You need to know that this is a part of life. If you don’t take care of yourself and practice self-love, you will not be able to love and take care of others.
My Mental Illness Does Not Define Me (& neither does Yours)
Mental Illness is often difficult to talk about because many people are still extremely judgmental about the validity of mental health needs. Although we are doing much better as a society at reducing the stigma, there are still many people out there who choose not to understand what we go through. I’ve learned that even though my Depression and Anxiety are a huge part of my life, they do not define me. I am not my mental illness. It has taken me years of hiding my mental illness and refusing to accept it for what it was. I went of medication when I thought that I was “better” (which I wasn’t). I still have days where I want to hide in my room because facing the world seems too difficult. I sometimes have panic attacks when I have a million things going on and my brain does not know how to cope. I’ve grown so much in self-awareness when it comes to my mental health. Your mental health journey will look very different from the journey of others. Just know that your needs are valid. Learn to embrace and understand your mental illness in order to practice the self-care that you need. Also know that what works for one person may not work for another.
Life is not easy. It wasn’t meant to be easy. Life is sloppy at times. We have absolutely amazing days where we wake up and feel like we can handle whatever comes our way. Other days we can barely make it out of bed. I deserve laughter and love, a career that I am passionate about, health and happiness, family, a partner that I couldn’t live without, and an extraordinary life worth living. You deserve this too. Get out there with your head held high. Pick up your feet. Yes, some days are really tough but I need you to know that when you get to a point of true joy in your life that the journey will be worth it.
I am happy to say that I’ve officially finished my first year of my student affairs masters program! Although it’s been a difficult transition at times, I’m happy to say that I’ve grown as a person, learned a lot about myself, & know what I need to do going forward into my second year.
The first thing I learned about myself is that I need to accept what I cannot change and to embrace the challenges that I am given.
Grad school is not meant to be an easy journey. Sometimes you’ll have 200+ pages of reading while you’re on-call for a big party weekend. Sometimes you’ll plan an event and no one will show up. There were times that I struggled deeply to accept my challenges for what they were. I complained a lot and ended up falling into a deeply negative mindset at times. I recognize that going forward, I truly need to reframe my mindset in order to accept my challenges and to understand how that challenge will help me to grow as a person and a professional. I also can’t fixate on the bad things that are happening. There is always something to be grateful for in the midst of the bad. I need to remember this.
I also learned that it is important to focus on self-care, even when I have a busy week with class, my assistantship, and life.
I have a tendency to say “yes” to helping everyone, eat terribly when I don’t have time to cook a healthy meal, make time for other people instead of taking introvert time for myself, etc. There were multiple times during the semester that I would let all of my stress pile up until I had a minor meltdown. Going forward, I truly need to work on establishing a balance, planning accordingly, and refusing to negotiate my self-care practices. Practicing self-care isn’t always the easiest when we have a million things going on, which is why it’s important to make it a priority at all times.
Professionally, I learned a lot of lessons from my assistantship.
It was difficult at times for me to go from a private institution to public branch campus. At my private campus, I had control over a lot of processes and had more autonomy to create programs/events/processes for my residents. I have learned an important lesson about respecting and valuing the political structure and established processes of an institution. It took a long time for me to recognize the importance of this lesson, and I know now going forward that I need to take a step back in order to understand the institutional structure and processes while also working to understand the policies and procedures that may not make sense to me right away. I also learned that I need to reflect on institutional style when I apply for a job. Overall, I have gained a lot from working at a completely different type of campus, and for that I am truly grateful.
I learned to focus on being grateful for my students and what they teach me every day.
After all, working with students is why I am in this field! My students have challenged me, made me laugh hysterically, made me feel valued, and helped me to grow as a person more than I could have ever imagined this year. I am so grateful for them and the amazing work they do. It is also rewarding to recognize the impact that I’ve made on their lives as well.
Personally, I also reaffirmed the importance of maintaining a personal life outside of grad school.
As an older SA Grad I knew that I wanted to make sufficient time for my partner and my family. I am thankful that I successfully spent time with them almost every weekend, as well as some of my cohort friends. It helps to have a boyfriend who sits with me for hours at Starbucks when I write papers and understands when I need to take some time to finish my readings in the evenings. After spending 3 years living in another state, I am extremely grateful to have been able to spend more time with the important people in my life and to strengthen our relationships over the past year. Make time for those you love. You’ll regret it in the end if you forget about them during your graduate journey.
Things for Future SA Grads to keep in mind:
Based on my experience, I thought it would be good to pull together a list for those of you who are going into SA Grad year 1 next year to keep in mind. Essentially these are the lessons I learned from this year and I hope that they are helpful for you to know before you start your journey.
Accept your challenges for what they are and take time to reflect on how they are going to help you to grow. Your experience isn’t going to be an easy one. Focus on why the challenging things are happening and what will come from them.
Focus on your self-care practices. Don’t let them fall by the wayside. We slip up at times and forget about ourselves, but ultimately, we should make time to re-center ourselves to focus back on what we need to succeed.
Understand the structure of where you are working. How do you fit in as a grad? What are the policies and procedures that you need to understand and to accept? Know these things and respect them. It is okay to question things respectfully, just don’t let the things that you don’t understand or those that you cannot change to hinder your experience.
Start reflecting on what you want from your future institution when you are in the job search. That’s the point of this experience. You are here to not only fortify your skills, but to know what you need (and don’t need) from a future employer.
Make time for a life outside of graduate school! And know that you’re not selfish for not making grad your everything. Yes, it is important, but you need to be human outside of it.
Know who your support system is and embrace them.Make time for them and allow them to take care of you when you need them.
Find healthy outlets to process your frustrations.I had a tendency to verbally (and negatively) vent this year, which was actually detrimental to my positivity. Although venting works for many people, I have a healthier outlook on life when I take time to actually reflect on and to process my frustrations. Blogging, journaling, and having constructive conversations with your support humans definitely help!
Know that your journey isn’t going to be like everyone else’s and that’s ok.Sometimes we have more difficult weeks than others. Sometimes those around us are going through more than we know. Focus on your journey and don’t compare it to others.
It’s ok to have bad days, but don’t let it bring you down as a person. You don’t have to be happy 24/7 as a grad or to know what you’re doing at all times. The important thing is to move forward when you’re having a bad day. Don’t fixate on it.
Have fun! The biggest thing is to enjoy the experience because it goes by quickly!
SA Grad is an incredible, yet difficult journey. You’ll fall at times. You’ll have many triumphs. You’ll meet a ton of incredible people. Know that your journey is what you make it. Whatever you do, make sure that you focus on what you want and need from this journey. And know that there are a ton of other student affairs professionals who are rooting for you along the way!
Today I’m making time to recenter myself and to refocus my thoughts on the positive. Over the past few weeks, I’ve been experiencing a LOT of negativity which has been caused by anxiety around family issues, work, school, etc. If you know me, you know that I’m typically a bubbly, quirky person, NOT someone who feeds into negativity constantly. Recently though, I’ve struggled to recenter myself daily in the midst of the stressful situations. I’ve complained about things that are out of my control. I struggled to find joy in my surroundings and my everyday life.
Even though life is draining and exhausting sometimes, there are a few things that I’ve reminded myself of these past few days: 1. It is okay to not be okay, 2. It is okay not to be joyful/at your best 24/7, 3. Despite these things, I NEED to take care of myself so that I can pull out of the negativity. As someone with depression and anxiety, I know that it is easy to fall into a black hole that could set me into a deep depression. I’ve learned that this negativity effects those around me. So yes, it is okay to have bad days and to experience negativity, but it is not okay to let this destroy you.
Today, my priority is to make introvert time for myself. The sun is finally shining and I’ve had a ton of really good coffee so far. I’m working to refocus my energy on the positive things in my life. I have so much to live for. Here’s to finding some peace and joy in my solitude today.
Last week I had the opportunity to attend my first NASPA (National Association of Student Personnel Administrators) conference in Philadelphia, PA. Although I have been to other student affairs conferences, the NASPA annual conference was a whole new experience (in the best way possible).
During the conference, I had the opportunity to connect with other professionals, to attend a number of sessions in areas of interest, and to take time for self care with some friends in the city. Attending a NASPA annual conference as a student affairs graduate student is a bit scary at first, but inevitably I learned a few things that I wanted to reflect on.
Step outside of your comfort zone. Networking and connecting to other professionals is terrifying if you have never experienced it before. During my first small NASPA Regional conference in St. Louis, MO a few years ago, I challenged myself to talk to random people at the conference. I learned that a lot of others at the conference are sometimes just as scared to step forward and make connections. Sharing your mutual awkward feelings sometimes breaks the ice as well!
It’s okay not to do everything. As young professionals, we sometimes feel the need to take on everything possible at a conference. I have learned that it is completely okay to take time for self-care, sharing meals with friends, etc. at conferences instead of pushing myself to go to every possible session I can. Conferences are a time for us professionals to rest as well as to learn new things, so we always need to keep that in mind.
Go to sessions and speakers that will inspire you. During this conference, I had the opportunity to hear Justice Sonia Sotomayor speak and to attend a panel on Women AVPS and Deans. I was deeply inspired by both sessions and have a lot of words of wisdom to carry into my next few years. You don’t have to push yourself to go to sessions that will always teach you new things. Sometimes the best ones are those that reaffirm your passions and areas of interest.
Don’t be afraid to step away from your friend group. It is definitely easier to stay with close friends if you are attending a conference together. Although it is great to spend time with them, I encourage you not to build your schedule around one another. Our interests lie in different areas sometimes and we all need to do our own thing in order to get the most out of the experience. Plus if you are attending different sessions you will have different things to teach one another after the conference!
Be yourself! It is important to be as genuine as possible when connecting with professionals and other grads in our field. I learned that when I allowed my quirky sense of humor to show through I ended up being more comfortable with the individuals I was connecting with. I was able to give people a few laughs while also discussing important experiences and talking about where we are from. It is possible to be your authentic self and to show professionalism at the same time.
Overall, this was an incredible experience that I will never forget! Thanks to the generosity of a professional development scholarship (and reduced grad rates) I was able to afford and take advantage of this experience. I look forward to hopefully attending another NASPA conference in the future and I challenge you to find the opportunity to do the same!
As many other Residence Life staff members know, 9pm staff meetings and programs are a normal in our functional area. Despite the fact that this is common, I still struggle with staying awake past my bedtime (I like to be home by 10 TBH) and finding the motivation to socialize later in the evening. This was the case last Thursday for our first year buildings area meeting. I was already dragging because I had just had another staff meeting at 7pm right before. I was also exhausted because I was getting used to my 6am wake-up time for the first week of classes. Needless to say, I was dreading the thought of going to another meeting.
Despite the fact that I was dragging, my colleague friend and I decided to put together a scavenger hunt for each of the 5 first-year Residence Halls staff so they could bond with new staff members. We added a number of funny items that the students would enjoy, such as taking a photo with the mountain cat mascot statue on campus, writing a poem to their AC (since there are 3 of us that oversee first year halls), and finding something Harry Potter related.
By the time the meeting came, I told myself that I had to put on a smile and fully show-up, both physically and mentally. By forcing myself to stay positive despite my exhaustion, the meeting ended up being one of the most entertaining and engaging experiences I’ve had with my students this year. The RAs were excited about the activity and had a great time taking the photos for the challenge. We all laughed until we were crying, which is more than I’ve laughed in a long time.
The biggest lesson I learned is to go into all my meetings and events with students with as much energy and charisma as I would if it were 11am instead of 9pm. That energy ends up being contagious and the students participate if you are excited about the event. It is so easy to pull into negative thoughts during times of exhaustion, especially in our field. On days when I’m struggling with a student or something that happened on campus, my supervisor reminds me to think about the small victories. Even though they are fewer than the challenges, those moments remind me of why I love what I do. We should all be celebrating our small victories. That’s what keeps our passion for SA fully alive.
“You can’t be hesitant about who you are”~Viola Davis
January is a perfect time to start over, refresh, and refocus on all the goals that you failed to complete the year before. If you know me, you know that I’m obsessed with making goals and lists. I also love the opportunity to start over with a clean slate. I love finding inspiration in new beginnings. So of course, I wanted to take a few minutes to set my resolutions as always, except with a new perspective on things:
Eat healthy and exercise for the sake of feeling good. Instead of setting weight loss goals for myself (i.e. I’m going to lose X number of pounds by this day so that I can be skinny), I’ve decided to reframe my mindset. Instead of focusing on the number of pounds I want to lose, I plan on focusing on eating healthier for the sake of my body, how gross I feel when I don’t eat healthy, and my mental health. I also want to exercise because I feel strong and have more energy instead of focusing on exercise to be better than others or because I hate my body. I love my body and who I am. I need to reframe my mindset to focus on that.
Find peace in the midst of chaos.I’ve learned that being a grad and having an assistantship are a lot sometimes in the midst of a busy social and family life. I have a tendency to keep pushing myself to work harder or to push through the chaos with the intention of resting when the stressful moments are over. The tough part about this is that this theory really doesn’t work. When one challenging assignment is over I need to start focusing on the next one. When a super busy week of on-call is over it is only a matter of weeks before I have to do it all over again. When I fall into a continuous cycle of stress and chaos, I allow everything to build up and eventually either have some form of a mild breakdown or feed into the negativity that my brain is focusing on at the moment. My goal is to make peace for myself, whether it is stepping away to take a walk or giving myself time to turn off my phone everyday. I also need to work toward forgiveness and understanding the perspectives of others before jumping to conclusions. We ALL deserve peace in our lives, regardless of all the things we have on our plates.
Don’t fall into a negative mindset, no matter how stressed you are. It is easy for many of us to fall into a negative mindset when things go wrong or we have a lot on our plates. I have a tendency to vent a lot when I’m frustrated. Instead of venting and word vomiting negativity, I am going to focus on stepping away when I’m feeling negative and trying to either do something I enjoy or reflect on the good things in my life. Yes, things are really terrible sometimes, but that doesn’t mean that everything in my life is really, really bad. It’s crucial that I step away so that I can refocus on the good. Staying positive is the key to staying happy, energized, and living my life to the fullest.
Don’t let grades and school consume my life.This one is definitely challenging as a student affairs grad student. We always focus on comparing our grades, exams, and projects to the other students in our cohorts. Although it’s crucial to have the support of friends and to discuss how projects went, I want to refocus so that I’m not comparing my performance and intelligence to others in the class. I’ve had so many imposter syndrome moments this semester because I’m too hard on myself. This year, I’m committing to doing my academic work to the best of my ability, growing through my personal experiences, and not beating myself up over grades. I need to be thankful for where I am in life and for this opportunity. It is also important to make sure that I am balancing my personal life and making my relationships my priority. School is important but at the end of the day, I need to also remember my support system and those who love me. I will commit to setting aside one day a week that I can spend with loved ones or take myself on an introvert date. I deserve it. School isn’t everything.
Stop saying sorry so much. I am so guilty of this and I know many of you are too. Gretchen Rubin, the author of The Happiness Project and The Four Tendencies, writes about four tendencies that all human beings fit into somehow. One of the tendencies, The Obliger, is the one that I fit into. Obligers hold themselves accountable to external motivation but fail to hold themselves accountable internally. This fits into my “people pleaser” mindset where I tend to focus on doing things for others and failing to say no. This is also why I say sorry so much. Even though I didn’t do anything wrong, I find myself apologizing for my actions. This year, I commit to taking a step back and only apologizing 1.) when I do something wrong and 2.) when I actually mean it. When I say sorry too much, I invalidate my feelings. My thoughts and feelings are valid.
This year I am refocusing on unselfishly loving myself, my body, and my mind. I’ve realized that it’s easy to forget to appreciate the little things and to recenter myself. This year I am making sure that I’m a priority so that I can be a resource and support system for those around me. As I’m sure you know, I absolutely love writing about self care. When it comes to practicing it, I’ve really let it fall to the wayside this semester. This is just another reminder that it’s okay to reflect on what I need to do better, accept that I’m not perfect, and to move on from here. I can’t wait to see what 2018 brings! Here’s to a year of falling in deeper love with my life and the world around me. I challenge all of you to do the same.
As I wrapped up my first semester of grad school this year, I’ve been thinking about all the good things that have happened in my life over the past few months. In the midst of grad school stress it becomes easy to fixate on the negative or anxiety-inducing things in my life, rather than the positives. Despite this, I know that I need to focus on re-centering myself & finding some peace after a long semester. I also know that I need to reframe my self-care plan to work with my grad schedule, since it is completely different from my previous life as a new professional. In order to start to find some peace after a long semester, I thought it would be good to reflect on the things I am thankful for:
I survived my first semester of grad school! Although this is probably obvious, I still know how much of an accomplishment it is to have made it through my first semester. As a first generation college student, I never thought of the possibility of grad school, which is why this accomplishment means so much to me.
I have an amazing support system.Grad school wouldn’t be possible without the support of my boyfriend, my family, and my friends. It is important that you surround yourself with people who build you up and take pride in your journey. Find people who lift you up no matter what. I promise it makes a difference.
I managed to get enough sleep. This sounds silly, but I am legitimately super proud of myself for prioritizing sleep this semester. I began to take my sleep habits seriously after reading Thrive, by Arianna Huffington. In the book, Huffington talks about the impact that a good night’s rest makes on your life. As a grad, I really didn’t think I would be able to continue with my healthy sleep habits, but I learned that if you develop healthy habits, they will continue despite new changes to your routine.
I work in a profession that I love. Although I have been faced with a million challenges and frustrating situations as a SA Grad in Residence Life, I am sincerely thankful for the opportunity to gain experience in my field. Despite the frustrations, I know that I need to focus on finding the positives and taking a step back when I’m frustrated next semester. Also taking time to be thankful for the job I have will inevitably make a greater impact on my mental health.
I had the opportunity to grow as a person. Although I still have to grow a lot personally, I feel that I’ve grown more as a person and professional through my first semester. I benefitted from the challenge of balancing school, my assistantship, my relationship, friends, family, and a million other things. Challenges make us stronger as people. We just need to make time to step back and reflect on those challenges after they happen. It is also really self-affirming to look back and see how much you’ve accomplished.
This semester has definitely been a whirlwind, but I know that I am where I need to be at this point in my life. I challenge everyone to take a minute to reflect on how you’ve grown from your last few months, what you are thankful for, and what you need to improve on going forward. I know that next semester I have to reflect better on my self-care practices, specifically with my health and physical wellbeing. Here’s to an even better second semester!
Although I haven’t written a post in a while, I thought it was important to take some time after surviving half of my first semester of grad school to reflect back on some of the things I’ve learned. The journey hasn’t been easy so far (and I totally still have more presentations and papers in the next few weeks), but it’s been a good one. Here are a few of the things I’ve learned so far!
Take time for yourself.
A few weeks ago, I learned the importance of making time for myself despite my extremely busy schedule. I was doing some form of homework every day for some period of time and forgetting to take some time for myself. I ended up getting extremely stressed and frustrated with everything until I finally processed that I wasn’t making time for me. That week, I took an entire Saturday to sleep and do what I wanted without looking at homework. Taking a day (or most of a day) each week for self-care is crucial in grad school.
Stay ahead of your work at all times.
Some weeks it’s impossible to start projects more than a week in advance (because of other projects). Regardless, I try to take steps to begin work well in advance so that I don’t get behind. I always try to have things done at least one day before the class in case something comes up with my assistantship (i.e. a difficult night on call, emergency meetings). Never wait until last minute for assignments if you can help it.
Make time for friends and family.
Although it’s often a challenge with my schedule, I always try to make time for friends and family. My awesome boyfriend sits at Starbucks with me for hours while I do homework. We make time to spend with each other (even if I have to focus on academics while doing it). Fit in time for family and friends in whatever way you can. You can’t forget about your support system.
Take advantage of opportunities when they’re provided.
I make time to take advantage of professional and social opportunities when I can. Although I’m a commuter student (off-campus Assistantship site) I have decided it was important for me to connect with my cohort. I decided to join our Associates for Student Development organization as a member of the Social Event Committee and take advantage of their social and professional events. I also decided to sign up to attend MACUHO this year because I’ve never been to a housing conference before. Take advantage of as many opportunities (whether social or developmental) as you possibly can.
Enjoy the ride.
I’m learning that grad school flies by very quickly. Although the journey is difficult, I recognize the importance of stepping back and enjoying the journey. As a first-generation college student, I recognize that having the opportunity to pursue a graduate degree is an incredible gift that I can’t take for granted. Enjoy yourself during this incredible journey!
Overall, I’ve been having an awesome time in my SA grad program despite the ups and downs. The SAHE program at Indiana University of Pennsylvania is the perfect fit for me and I couldn’t ask for a more supportive group of faculty and cohort members. Here’s to finishing out the semester strong!